marriage.

Here are some old rants I've unearthed from my journal, from a while back, on this could-you-find-a-more-biased-opinion topic. Though I must point out that I'm not quite so painfully pessimistic about the whole idea as I was at the time of writing, & I am aware that many people out there have managed to continue a happy marriage for a long time...(congratulations, by the way, if you're one of those people...woah.). It does make fairly entertaining reading though...haha...oh, and apologies for the shamelessly horrific sexism in the second one...haha...

January 2nd , '06

Ok, so, maybe 'love is like a drug', but I much prefer my analogy that marriage is like one of those reckless, irresponsible things that people do while high, like sleeping with a stranger, or jumping off a cliff...then, of course, there's that not dissimilar feeling of dread and depression on waking the next day, or, in the case of a marriage, in a few years, and finding that the person lying next to you is either someone you can't talk to, or someone you're not attracted to (or even both, if you're really unfortunate). Unluckily for the married, they can't just creep out before the other person wakes up & never see them again, until an embarrasing encounter while out shopping one day...it's not unheard of though...

January 18th, '06

Marriage. Who in their right mind would find that idea appealing? I mean, say, absolute best case scenario, you do actually find a soulmate/kindred/whatever, and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, why on Earth would you want to have some big ceremony and then sign a bit of paper which legally binds the two of you, meaning that if something ever does go tragically wrong, you have to go through the painful & expensive process of a divorce: which potentially irreversibly screws up any offspring which may have occured during the marriage, and leaves a phenomenally large hole in your no-longer-joint-bank-account to add to the pain & remind you of your lost love? Why? Why? Why?! Plus, if you intend on marrying a man, which I'm assuming far too many women are these days, due to the clear insanity which has driven them to do so for the last however long, the chances of an unhappy ending are increasingly likely due to what complete a******s they are. Ugh.

My revised & slightly more developed opinion...

Due to the fact that I can't really effectively (without hypocrisy...) argue for gay marriages while still arguing against marriages in general, I've re-thought my opinion on the constitution of marriage...(hangs head in shame...). Although more & more marriages are ending in divorce in various countries at the moment (which can't be an encouraging sign) there's no avoiding the fact that some people meet their soulmate at the age of sixteen, & they get married, & produce lots of wonderful children, & overcome everything that comes their way, & die, holding hands, still painfully in love. Therefore, I cannot completely discard marriage as pointless & pathetic as, clearly, some people are perfectly suited to it; my wonderful make-believe example couple may have thought of calling it quits a few times but stayed together for the one reason of the golden bands around their fingers, & realised, after everything was resolved, how terrible it would have been had they ever left one another's sides (where are these people, anyways? I'm assured they exist...). However (&, of course, there is a 'however'), I do strongly maintain that far too many people, whose situation doesn't even vaguely represent my Mr & Mr/Mrs & Mrs/ Mrs & Mr Perfect (boy, equality can be tiring) example, could quite happily have their huge ceremony, & eat cake, & buy clothes which they will only wear once for extortionate prices, & declare their love for eachother to everybody-hell, they can even wear rings if they want!-and not sign a contract. That way, they can have all the-I don't know-whatever it is people like about marriage ceremonies-& avoid all the trouble if they, at some point, come to the decision that they don't want to be together anymore.
Now, doesn't that sound like a far better idea?

jo

xxx


post scriptum


"fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of makind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible."-Bertrand Russel, Marriage and Morals

If you are a normal American living in a large metropolitan area marrying a normal college-educated American who is looking for the American dream (a nice house, kids, good life), then you have over 95% chance of either getting divorced or trapped in a miserable marriage.

4 out of 5 men regret marrying.